it hurts and it hurts bad.
there have been times when things havent gone my way. i have to admit, i'm not the best loser in the world, but never before did it hurt so bad. There have been dozens of instances, when i havent been upto the mark, be it in my efforts or dedication, but then i knew i deserved what i got most of the times if not all.

This time was the one time, i wanted it so bad, and i know i put in a lot of effort. Effort that i wouldn't have normally thought myself capable of. It was one whole week, i fucked up everything, that week, and little did i know then that was the week of fuck ups. It pains me when i think of it.
The worst part is i still cant put a finger at what went wrong. It could have been much easier, had i been able to decipher the mistake. I spend nearly a couple of hours brooding on this, and i'm lost for answers. they elude me.

There were times before engg. when i thought this was the wrong line to be in, and most times i console myself on that, but deep down i knw the fault is with me. Its me i guess, who needs an introspection. Times when i've blamed the whole world for every one of my failures are now a distant memory.
Never before, did failure hurt me so bad and i have no idea why this hurts so much. I am at a loss for words to describe the lows after this. Its pathetic and i'm surprised, that i let it matter to me so much. I wish i cld forget everything, but it aint gonna happen and i have to live with it.

Not once, not even, when i got that rejection letter from NUS or when i lost at ESPN, did i ever do this. But this time, it hurts and i hate admitting this.
But as i sit in the balcony still pondering, i cant hold back my tears any longer

Retarded mongrels >:P

life is full of surprises, aint it ?
never ceases to amaze me.
Actually more than life its prolly Osmania University(read OU) that stores all these surprises. The story is the usual. Results are out and i manage to pass again(wow)

But the twist in the tale is that a few guys now have a backlog. the surprising, rather the funny side is that these guys are ur usual nerds ala geeks who have never seen any other side of life other than books. Its amazing how the University can screw u.
Now its kinda obvious, how OU manages to evaluate answer sheets. OU ensures the examiners are stoned/drunk before they get to lay their stinking hands on the papers. Pathetic system, i tell ya.
Theres no other way one cld explain 227 out of 300 guys failing in a single subject.

The other extreme, the exams i screw left,right and center, are the ones that i always end up scoring the highest in.

when i realise that the freakin system is all screwed up and i might be the next victim, i'm frightened :(. Its scary to imagine a backlog at this stage.
I've been counting my lucky stars ever since i stepped into engineering and i hope i can cling onto them till i get through. Dont wanna waste time, with another subject.

This system has fcuked me enough. I wanna sue the shitheads !
Make them pay for all the emotional trauma they cause.
if i had my way, i wld make sure they fund me a new Beemer ;)for all the agony they cause me. A$$wipes!

I then realised my chances of being placed, are prolly getting all the way closer to nil. My mark sheets show a 60 degree decreasing line. Kinda hard pressed to explain it. Never gave a damn about these marks and crap and i never will but the whole world never seems to concur :(
Unfair !

yeah i guess, thats how the world runs >:P

Thank You junta

its done and over with.

after 3 weeks of hectic running around and burning loads of calories, normalcy has been restored. Never did i imagine spending less than 3 hours a day sleeping and sometimes no sleep at all. It was H.E.C.T.I.C

The conference was a super hit opines everyone. But me being my pessimistic self, never thought so. To me, the conference was alright and cld have been much better if it wasnt for a faulty audio system and a moron sleeping right through it without realising anything. Jobless Joker!!
The best part about it was the interaction with most of the elite profs from all over the world and industry leaders. There was this prof from MIT, Chandrakasan, who was exemplary to say the least. To listen to him personally explain the nuances of the importance of power in designing IC's was mind boggling. The guy was amazing. Then there was 'Chak' from Princeton who was so enthusiastic and contaminated us with it.
GD uncle was awesome and his constant pep talks were extremely motivating.

One person who was really amazing and impressive was Babu Gogineni. Hes an amazing orator and his humor is absolutely humorous. He was top notch and was offering tips on public speaking which were very very helpful.
u cld look him up on google. Some impressive CV hes got.

Then how can i forget the team i worked with. The normal guys i meet everyday are fine. But the new acquaintances i made- Sandeep anna, Soujanya and Bindu 'aunties', KK, Ravi, Hemanth and everybody else, ensured we were all a close knit family for the 5 days. They were simply amazing.
Some of the best days of my life.

I really enjoyed being chased around by Souji aunty and irritating her to the core. I think i did my bit in helping u burn ur calories ;) Waiting for the good news :)
Bindu aunty was jovial and helpful. Loved teasing u. I'm still waiting for his name :D
Hemanth got stoned almost every other day. He defined sun rise at 3 PM.
Harsha was irritating and was tried his best to get on my nerves and almost succeeded but alas, i have more patience than he assumed :p
Sandeep anna ! Never knew one cld swear so profusely in Telugu. All the talk about ur fraternity days is making me jealous. I hope to use one of ur pick up lines the next time
Akshay! Sorry for scratching ur car mate :( was drowsy then. I knw what Reddy boy is thinking. My fault mate.

The team was amazing. thank you guys.
the guys i missed out on. Wait up please. u'll get ur due ;)

p.s. pics might be posted soon :)

International VLSI Conference '08

its been a loong time since i've been blogging.
the vacation was unintentional and is a result of me being 'uber' busy for the past 3 weeks. Those times were hectic. and the sad part is theres more to come,the crucial part.

Theres this International Conference on VLSI design and Embedded Systems, www.vlsiconference.com. Its basically an industry level conference thats been held for the past 20 years in various parts of India, right from Bangalore to Delhi.
This year its being held at Hyderabad and we have the first ever students conference as a part of this biggie. The students track aims at exploring student avenues and exposing students to the latest in the world of Chip designing and the like.
Hell, its got all the big name organisations sponsoring the event. AMD, Intel, nVidia... name them and they are all here.

If that ain't incentive enough to attend, then there are profs from places like MIT, Boston, Princeton, New Jersey etc. delivering lectures and taking u on a ride down the subject lane.
To top it all, theres the certificate which would be invaluable to any engineering student.

Anyone who's reading this, avail this once in a lifetime opportunity. U've got no clue about the next conference. For all u care it cld be somewhere outside India and before u realise, poof goes ur chance to attend this :p

p.s. lunch included in the registration fees. Trust me, it will arouse the foodie in u ;)

to be contd..