Following the heart...

Its 5AM in the morning. I had slept for 6 hours and I cant sleep anymore.
For the first time in more than a month, I find myself a little less loaded. Nothing much to do. Can afford to relax for a day. Take it easy. But then, before I know, I'm gonna be mired up in that mess to meet deadlines and getting the right work done.

Its a crazy life out here.
I finished registering courses for the next sem. As I sit and ponder, about the courses, I wonder. Am i here just because this degree is gonna make my resume look flashier and gimme a high paying job that'd probably require me to work 20 hours a day? Is that what I really want?

I remember making lofty statements in my applications about how I wanted to do this and that, but then I realise I'm doing the complete opposite of what I wrote about in my application. I have to follow the herd in a way, because the job is important to me. I need a job here. No two minds about it, but am I really going to enjoy it?
I have no idea. But something tells me, I might not.
I wanna do stuff that I feel comfortable doing but then there is this strong fear of not being able to land a job. Thats a strong driving factor in my choice of courses for the next semester.

I wanna follow the heart but the mind is a pretty strong influence too. I'm probably being ruled by the mind at the moment, but then am I gonna end up regretting my choice? I have no idea. Probably the idea is about finding the right balance. The first semester here is an eye opener. It did show me, how bad I am at stuff that I thought I was good at. I realise I have to unlearn stuff and start from scratch. That is the toughest part. Unlearning is very difficult. There is always a little left that is going to trouble you.
I hope at the end of this sem, which is 3 weeks away, I would be able to unlearn and relearn it all.

Waiting to complete this semester. Waiting to get back home.
Waiting for a lot of things.

As I write this, I just received a mail from I dunno who, supposedly an old classmate who I dont remember at all. He's planning on applying and is asking for suggestions. What do I tell him ? Come here and get lost in the multitude of dreamy eyed students, or come down here and make your own mark. How do I tell him that?
I'm not even sure, if I should be replying to his mail. I dont even know if I'm worthy of making suggestions to him. Do I ignore the mail? I dont know what to do. I'm lost.

Follow the heart, not the mind...

Those were the days..

Those were the days.
The days when I woke up at 8:30 in the morning and waited for harsha to come pick me up.
The days when, we ended up at college at 10:30.
The days when, we used to run around, hiding from the princi.
The days when we walked into class at random.
The days when we begged and pleaded for attendance.

Those were the days...
The days when we came up with fancy excuses to bunk class.
The days when we tried to forge signatures to get out of college.
The days when we enjoyed the grand lunches at the placement office.
The days when we won those basketball matches.

Those were the days...
How i miss those days! The days when we tried all kinda fancy gimmicks. The days when we ran around for Carpe Diem. The days when we lost all that money. The days when we shot that movie. The days when we worked night and day for the VLSI conference.
Those were the days...

The days when we sat studying together late at nights.
The days when I had to go back home in the chilly night.
Those were the days....

How I wish they were back! How i wish we could do it all over again. How I wish, we were never separated.
But life moves on.
Just reminiscing...

Thanks for the great times guys.

Home..

Its been a long time since i wrote here.
A lot has happened since i bought that domain name. With lofty dreams, i came here hoping to fulfill them.
And now as time moves on, they are on the verge of being shattered. Flew across 8000 miles, almost 18 countries, 3 continents, one big ocean and now what. To have them all being blown to smithereens, as I watch.Its not been easy.
For the first time, I come out from home. Away from the shell that surrounded me and protected me from the big bad world. Here I am, out in the open, vulnerable to all the challenges and the perils out there in the open. And its not a nice feeling, I tell you. Every time, I have a couple of hours to waste, my thoughts invariable drift back to college days and the stuff that I enjoyed doing so much. Its all coming back and makes me feel horrible. I wanna go back. But then once engrossed in work, I hardly seem to notice it.

Today, as I write this, I have an exam lined up for this week and a bunch of assignments and an horrible lab. The workload is sometimes unbearable. They always spoke of the light at the end of the tunnel, but funnily, I dont seem to be able to find it. Its a long way away and they tell me, I'm gonna enjoy it once this is over, but why cant I enjoy it while I'm doing it?

I wanna go back home. Back to my shell, where no one cared of what I did, or how I did it.
I wanna go back home now.

Domain name!

Its been a long time since i've posted here.
A lot has happened since then. I'm now almost outta college. And I guess I'll be off to the US just like those millions of guys who keep running away.

But yesterday, i found a coupon for www.godaddy.com
It let me buy my own .com domain for $0.99. Kewl! aint it! Anywayz, including the extra ICANN registration fee, it cost me Rs.60.41 Pretty cheap i say!
The coupon is valid on most top level domains. Heres the coupon for the interested souls

99BUYCOM

And yeah, my blog can now be accessed from www.maranellored.com
This purchase also means that now I've gotta start posting regularly and try to manage my blog more effectively.It'll prolly be revamped completely once i find the time :D

Thats all folks!